Seasons Greetings!

This year I have been lucky enough to make some new friends, and there isn't a single one of you that I could now imagine being without. You all know who you are and because of you I have the most amazing support network, so thank you.  I love you all to death. <3

 So to all my fantastical friends, followers and tweeties, I wish you all the very merriest Christmas and a safe, healthy & happy New Year!



xoxo

Go fic yourself!!

Thats right folks, yours truly has decided to brave the reading masses and write my own fan fic, "And Then You".  I have posted it up on fanfiction.net and you can find it HERE.  You will currently find the Prologue and the first 2 chapters up but there is plenty more to come!  FragileLittleHuman is working her lil beta socks off and updates will be once a week (sundays). 

The reviews I have recieved so far have given me the warm & fuzzies, I'm stoked that people actually like it so if you have left me some love then, sincerely, thank you!

A massive thank you also to the lovely & fantastical itsjustme who very sweetly made me an absolutely beautimous button for my fic.....



Isn't it pwetty? Yes! *grin* If you are kind enough to pimp me out then feel free to use it for that :)

And to my Secret Santa (I & you know who you are obviously) THANK YOU!!!!!!!

Dear Santa.....

Dear Santa Clause

Firstly, I'd like to know...

What fabric softener keeps your suit so red?

What mileage do you get on the sleigh? Does it have SatNav & an iPod dock?

What with his nose issues and all, does Rudolph have trouble dating?

Now back to business.  With Christmas only 5 days away, I figured now might be a good time to send you my list.  We both know I've been good this year......well....I had a few minor slip ups and said the occasional naughty/cuss word, but ignoring all that, I've been an angel *grin*  My list is kinda short, but don't be alarmed.  I'm a woman of fine taste and I prefer quality over quanity - I'm afraid none of your other junk will do.

Now I'm sure you've already read my small print, along with my enclosed terms & conditions and the disclaimer, but I think it's only fair that I give you an advance warning.  If you fail to deliver and don't come up with the goods then I will be a very unhappy customer, forcing me to write a tersely worded letter of complaint to Trading Standards and, if required, take Court action.  Not to mention the fact that I will be the biggest pain in your ass, the biggest you have EVER had, every single year, for the rest of my life.  Your naughty list does not scare me so stick that in your festive pipe and smoke it!

I refer to the gift in question below, and look foward to finding it under my tree on Christmas morning.  Do not skimp - the rug must also be included.

(Source)

(Source)

Yours sincerely,

Me

P.S - A word of friendly advice - I think you should give up the mince pies, the suspension on your sleigh can only be upgraded so many times!

Hi, my name is Bex and I'm a fanficaholic....

Hello lovelies!! Today's post will contain a little pimping but before we get to that, I was gifted something so festive and wonderful that it would be a crime not to share it with you all!  Said amazing gift was made for me by the super lovely Amcas (whom I miss terribly) over at WhyNotRPattz and I have decided that if "Wonderment" ever finds its way in to the dictionary then a glorious picture of Amcas should be placed beside the definition.  So go ahead and feast your eyes on my prize! But no touching - hands off my Christmas Pretty!

My, what a big gift bow you have there Rob! *smirk*

Did I mention that I have a very long list of things we

could do with that candy cane...?

Ok, now to the above smut I am going to add some juicy ficcy lemons!! I don't usually make a habit of recommending fanfic on here because my reading list is so fucking long I'd be here until the New Year! However, recently I have stumbled upon some fiction by 3 lovely ladies that I feel compelled to share with you.  Trust me when I say that if you haven't read any of these yet then you are definately missing out!

We're going to kick off proceedings with the wonderful elusivetwilight who is the creator of my beloved Kiltward and author of these outstanding stories....

The Rain Season

"After trauma of losing her parents, Bella receives a letter from old family friend Esme inviting her to come to Scotland where she and her family are currently settled. Angsty scottish summer with AH cast and perhaps Edward in a kilt."

Incubus Anomaly

"Incubus: a sex demon that visits women in the deep dark of the night. Edward relies on his special gifts to consume his prey. What happens when he meets the one woman immune to his unique abilities?"   

Next stop is the fabulous LambCullen! Mere minutes was all it took for me too fall in love with her Bookward and you will be spoilt for choice with her extensive list of first class fics.....

First Edition

"He watched her for weeks and wanted her for just as long. Can one lonely day in his bookstore bring them together."

Tides

"Bella's inheritance - an old house once owned by Granddad Aro. However, she is surprised to find an unexpected house guest living there. He knows her, but who the hell is he?"

Tilt

"Man wanted: 52 cards. 52 Positions. Can an internet advertisement really bring two people together? Even if it's only based on sex?"

Dearly Departed

"What if a person was broken beyond repair? So broken, that death was the only way out. Can love really heal everything?"

Landscapes

"The Diary. An elite artists retreat, owned by the Cullen Foundation. Edward Cullen wants Bella Swan to attend, but is it for more than her art?"

All Bets Are Off

"Done for the TATTward & INKella contest. Edward loses a bet with his brothers...the end result, however is not what he expected"

Dark Possession

"A virus is spreading across the human race, and Vampires no longer have an endless supply of blood. Edward Masen has a thirst like never before, that is until he sees a lonely woman crying and in need of refuge."

Wreckage

"Just moments after Edward proposes, Bella is in a car crash. All memories of her life are gone. Can they restore their life to what it was before the wreckage?"

Wreckage Outtakes

"Past/Present Outtakes from Wreckage. All one shots"

And last but by no means least, my beloved sjAimee is penning this kick-ass fic .....

A Broken Triangle

"The relationship is purely physical for Bella, but Edward wants more. When Bella meets his roommate Jasper, everything changes. Can Bella overcome a past that left her broken,Jake dead,and Charlie in jail and have a real relationship with either of them?"

Now, recently I've been spending a lot of time with her Edward and in an attempt to get some insight in to his very sweet self, I got a little quizzical with him. You can see my questions and his answers over at the Broken Triangle Blog

N.B - All these stories are rated M & some contain dark themes. Young & innocents - these are not for you!

Now if that doesn't keep you busy for at least a month then I don't know what will!!

Cutie, if you are reading, I love you very muchers and I is counting down the days for you to be free! I have celebratory fairy lights at the ready! *wink*

And to my one & only, most beloved Bitches - I (schmoopy) misses you *sadface* I don't know where you are but please come home for Christmas....

xx

A new look for Infinite!

Guess who's back!!  I'm sorry for my longer-than-usual absence but being sick apparently wasn't on my schedule and RL/work has been kicking my ass hard.  Plus, I wanted to wait so that I could do the "big reveal".  No not that kind of reveal....jeez....dirty people *shakes head* But anyway.....

....I hereby welcome you all to the new look Today I feel Infinite!




The blog layout I always wanted was finally made possible for me by the wonderful Mrs Vanquish who created what you see before you.  I am truly thankful to her for her hard work and the absolutely beautiful layout she made for me. If I could, I would give her one of these *wink*



If you would like Mrs V to work her magic on your blog then head over to Twispired Blog Design (see also her lovely button over there ----------->)  

Next on the agenda - fan fiction!! Now I don't normally reccy fan fic because the time spent writing those posts is valuable reading time, obviously. However today I'm breaking my own rule, I'm making the exception!  The very lovely SBGDGT, known to me as "20" (*smirk*), borrowed me for some sinsperation and did me the amazing honour of writing me in to a panty melting one shot called "Together Again" which you can (and will) read here.  Much to my delight my lemons get well and truly squeezed, and if you like a whole lotta Texas in your man then you will enjoy! Please note however that Ranchward (as I have very affectionately dubbed him) is all mine, and have no damn intention of sharing! *smug grin*  So go and leave my 20 some love - she wrote hard, provided the ultimate teasers and deserves a ton of positive reviews.  Plus *whispers* if you tell her you like it she may carry it on *wink wink* 

Next item - My beloved Ted (thats Marie to everyone else) has joined forces with Leigh and finally joined the blog community!! You can visit the girls over at Our Twilight Bubble.  Go and welcome them, it'll make em feel all warm & fuzzy inside :)

And last but definately not least....I was too late to show my support with a picture, which saddens me, however I am all for Thinking of Rob's campaign against the paps and their goddamn infuriating need to invade people's (namely Rob's) privacy. 

I feel strongly about this but I'm keep my opinion short and sweet.  Dear Paps, I understand you need to make a living, but go do it elsewhere and BACK THE FUCK OFF of our boy!!!!!! Yours truly, me.   Ok I know I said sweet, so I lied, sue me!

For more information, or to join the movement, click the banner below.  My final words on this matter? He doesn't want this, and neither do I.

Almost there....

I believe that Kleenex, dry panties and consoling sugary snacks are essential to survive New Moon.  I am also hoping  that it will be a fuckwit free experience for us!  *strokes duct tape lovingly*

Soon my lovelies we shall all be rewarded for our devotion & patience with all that glorious big screen heartbreak we know is coming *sigh* Cutie, I truly wish I could be there to hold you and the fact I can't is making me anxious. *bites lip*

But know this. Tomorrow, when I am on the verge of either :-

a) hyperventilating in to a paper bag

b) sobbing so hard it hurts

c) jizzing with joy

d) complete hysterics

….I will be holding you all in my heart. It will surely be broken hard but I know I'll be ok. Why? Because you amazing & special ladies are better than all the fucking superglue in the world. I love you all dearly, I will feel your pain tomorrow and I will share your joy-jizzing. 

One more sleep to go. Sweet dreams y'all ;)

Friday? What's happening on Friday?

New Moon is so damn close I can practically smell it!!!!

Is it like Christmas come early? Yes! Who the fuck needs Santa when you have The Weitz!

It's only Monday, but am I hyper? So much so that I'm scared to have any sugar this week!!

Will it get worse? Without a doubt!

Will I cry & snot? Like a goddamn baby!

Do I care? Newp! Couldn't give one!

Will I be taking Duct tape? Yes, industrial strength - the good shit!

Will you be using it? I sincerely hope not.....

.....All you spoiley & hatey peeps need to remember that we, the Twi fans, want a completely fuckwit free experience. We don't ask for much, so if you do insist on going and you dearly value your safety, then I recommend that you abide by the 3 S's.

Sit the hell down, Shut the fuck up & Suck it up bitches!

Ok so whilst here, I'm reckoning now would probably be a good time to tell you that I will be taking a breather from Twitter this week.  A few reasons for this really :-

To catch up on the many excellent fan fics listed in my favorites

To continue work on my own fanfic.  Yep, that's correct, I'm writing *blush* Those who may be curious can email for more deets :)

To try and avoid all the "Robsten" fuckery & general all-consuming hype which will   undoubtedly be tweeted to death! I don't want my last week of giddy anticipation to be tainted by it all *shrug*

Please don't think me anti-social!  Those who know me would tell you that I'm far from it, and trust me when I say it's usually quite difficult to shut me up!!  I will be on email all week so if you want me you can get me here :) I will try and post too!

No one will miss me, I know this, but it's not an abandonment of "Edward" proportions.  Volterra is not calling me, I will be back! Most likely Friday.......providing I havn't self imploded at the sheer force of my own excitement by then ;)

Remember

At 11.00 am on 11 November 1918 the guns of the Western Front fell silent after more than four years continuous warfare.

To all of the fallen, who gave their today for our tomorrow, and to all of the men & women that continue to put their precious lives on the line every single day so that we can enjoy ours and love our families without fear or reprisal…..

"They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:

Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.

At the going down of the sun and in the morning

We will remember them."

THANK YOU

The Brits are biting back!

The post that lies before you has been born from a late night collaboration between myself and my Squishy - the lovely Emma over at Sparkle.  But don't be fooled - this is no ordinary joint post! Don't get us wrong, we love all our Twi-besties from across the pond, but every now and then we feel a little outnumbered! As fellow Brits, we decided to share a little with you all! Hold on to your seats ladies, you are about to be tag teamed UK style!!


We are reknowned for some typically British traits, like talking about the weather, queueing, moaning, rambling through the countryside, drinking tea to solve a problem, and maintaining a stiff upper lip at all times but we found no mention of Edward & Emmett loving twihards .....hmm....*shrug*


But we're proud to be British, so fuck the flag, we're doin it our way....... badass jacked-up chucks & no jolly awful pretentious language chaps!

(Source)


1. Craptastic weather

Reknowned for our shitty climate, it is always cold, wet & freakin' gloomy! Actually, this place is a whole lot like Forks! Just as green & wet, but we've yet to find the super hot vampires!


Em: Even though Volvos are stalking me...

Bex: Uh...no...thats just me...*waggles eyebrows*


2. We are an Island

Busting this joint involves either flying or taking a boat trip, both of which, when done in above mentioned  weather, can make for a very bumpy ride! Hold on to your stomaches & sick bags!


3. No Hot Topic stores

We consider ourselves to be highly deprived of excellent Twi merch & glossy mags! We Brits sometimes feel forgotton and often overlooked (like no UK Premiere!) and we think this sucks saggy balls! *pout*


4. We do not all talk like Mr Darcy & Elizabeth Bennett

Our language has evolved since Jane Austen got all hot & bothered and, contrary to popular belief, we don't all have the typical accent they seem to love using in movies! Accents here are regional, with Newcastle, Liverpool, Birmingham & the South West sporting some of the most interesting! I myself am a Devonshire girl and thankfully was not blessed with our fuckawful accent! If your curious to know just how fucking awful then I highly recommend you check this vid out for a laugh.....

Em: Though I kinda have a bit of the liverpool twang when it comes to my accent. It's unnoticeable unless I leave my little place...

Bex: So can I start calling you twangy-tits now?

Em:  NO! I have enough nicknames thankyouverymuch!

Bex: Fine, I'll use TT for short! Bwuahaha!


5. Traditional English Noms

Bangers & mash, Sunday roast dinners, full English brekkies, Cornish pasties and cream teas are all freakin nommy but the best by far is a bag of fish & chips! Unbeatable when eaten on a cold & windy seafront, straight from the paper, covered in a bucketload of salt & vinegar!


Em: Mmmm fish n chips... now I'm hungry, bitch!

Bex: Shaddup! I'm always hungry! *sigh*


6. The Royal Family

Prominant throughout history and mostly admired by the older generation, the British Monarchy can be a bit dull. Unless of course you're the Willmeister & Hazzmat, who land helipcopters in their girlfriend's gardens and lurch out of clubs in the early hours of the morning!  Frankly I'm not fussed much but I'd fucking love to see the Queen showing off Buckingham Palace on MTV Cribs! "This is wear the magic happens......" *snort*  Badass pad, no?


Em: I wonder how the postman gets in....

Bex: Must be weird when she gets her mail....seeing her face staring back at her on all those stamps! *snigger*

(Source)


7. Marmite

A dark brown-colored savory spread made from yeast extract. Usually put on to bread or toast, it has a very strong salty flavor (yeah I'm still talkin about the Marmite here!) and is reknowned for being either totally loved or utterly hated! No one sits on the fence and I fucking hate it!!! It's vile! *gag*


Em: Ugh! Marmite... my appatite's just abandoned me!

Bex: Good, that means more chips for me! Noms!


8. English Literature

The likes of William Shakespere, Jane Austen, Charlotte & Emily Bronte, D.H. Lawrence & Charles Dickens, to name just a few, have written some of the greatest shizz of all time, and some of the most popular authors of the 20th centuary carry on their awesome work!


Em: Hell, even our beloved Twilight was written based along the lines of Romeo and Juliet.

Bex: Yes it was! Wouldn't it be embarrasing if people nicknamed him Willy Shakey? *snort*  Edward, Edward, where for art thou sparkly, cold Edward? *sigh*

9. Fucking awesome music

Ok, so we're not known for being great with our movies, but you cannot deny that some of the greatest musical talent has come from our shores! The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, The Who, Muse, RadioHead, Oasis, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Band of Skulls, U2, The Cure, The Smiths, Morrissey, Happy Mondays, Coldplay, The Stone Roses.....you get the picture!


Now there are a ton of things we dearly love about Britain, and though we have only touched on a few, we have undoubtedly saved the very best until last! Although no words are really needed to introduce our most loved of them all, we do have a small plea.......


10. Miles away from that heartbreaking smile.... *sniff*

(Source)


Rob, we miss you, please come home!


We'll even resort to bribary....

Em: I'll buy you all the hot pockets and beer you could ever want. Hell ,I can even drive you places if you so wish! Just please come back to our rainy little island. Pretty please with hot pockets on top? (What the fuck are hot pockets?)

Bex: Some microwavable savory snack that probably goes all soggy an shit? I haz no idea.....maybe he'd prefer a cheezeburger.....*shrug*  I just wanna know how hot his pockets are! *dirty smirk* I'm not even going to mention bangers.....


And finally, to all of our tweeties & bloggy friends who are far, far away; the time difference is utter fuckery, but we heart you all and we miss you lots <3


Em: And look forward to maybe meeting you in the future, all in the name of Twilight!

Bex: Is that why you love my body? In the name of Twilight?

Em:  Well I thought that was kinda obvious....

Health & Safety Warning: Do not fiddle with gunpowder!

Look who's getting post-happy this week ;)

Today's post however has purpose! It's in recognition of one my most favourite British events! Here in Blighty, 5th November is known as Guy Fawkes Night (aka Bonfire Night).

Like most traditions, it comes complete with a weird ye olde english type rhyme that is undoubtedly the focus of 100's of history lessons taking place in UK classrooms today. I however, can only ever remember the first 2 lines as my education apparently failed me! So I did the next best thing - I googled that sucker!!

"Remember, remember the Fifth of November,

The Gunpowder Treason and Plot,

I know of no reason

Why the Gunpowder Treason

Should ever be forgot.

Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes, t'was his intent

To blow up the King and Parli'ment.

Three-score barrels of powder below

To prove old England's overthrow;

By God's providence he was catch'd (or by God's mercy)

With a dark lantern and burning match.

Holloa boys, holloa boys, let the bells ring. (Holla)

Holloa boys, holloa boys, God save the King!"

Now Wiki says….

Guy Fawkes Night is an annual celebration on the evening of 5 November. It marks the downfall of the Gunpowder Plot of 5 November 1605, in which a number of Catholic conspirators, including Guy Fawkes, attempted to blow up the Houses of Parliament, in London, United Kingdom. He was to be hung, drawn and quarted but Fawkes, weakened by his torture, was the last to climb the ladder to the gallows, from which he jumped, breaking his neck in the fall and thus avoiding the latter part of his execution.

But I decided to tell you the story in my own speshal & unique way *smirk* So I say....

In 1605 there lived some badass fuckers. One of these was a rebellious dude with a funky name who got all cocky and tried to blow shit up with a fuckload of gunpowder. It was an epic fail because some other dude decided to be a tattling douchebag & wrote a super secret douchey letter which got his stupid ass busted! He was supposed to be hung but he opted for the "fairwell & fuck you" gesture of doing it himself - asstard!  Now we use all this fuckery as an excuse to make scary man-doll mofo's, burn them on a bonfire & let off off some pretty nifty freakin fireworks. All while freezing our titties/balls off outside in Englands shitty November climate.


*grin* Little Kiddlywinks get wrapped up warm and love pretty fireworks, although the oldies with heart conditions aren’t so keen! Men all discover their inner pyro when they see a bonfire, going all caveman on our ass & burning anything that isn't nailed down. Throw in a crapload of alcohol & outdoorsy food like baked potato, beans & sausages and everyones a winner!

Now I personally am all about the fireworks! That’s right, I'm totes not ashamed to admit that I'm with the kids on that one! But however you choose to celebrate Bonfire night, remember this :- it's not the size of your rocket that counts, it's the angle of the launch & the force of it's explosion ;) Scarf, hat & mittens not required, however spare panties might be wise. *smirk*

Yes baby.....yes I do!  What's a girl gotta do to get a ride on the RobRocket? *wink wink*

Bend me over & take me in Tokyo!

Happy Tuesday folks!


Keeping it quite light for y'all tonight.......and yes, I am totes aware that I just said "Y'all" even though I'm a Brit (Gov'na) ....so whatcha gonna do? Sue me? *smirk*


Also, you may be relieved to know that now she's had her say, the emo imposter who hijacked the last post has been locked in the nearest closet! Please don't let her out!


Will it ever stop fucking raining!! Wait...this is England.....what a dumbass question! Of course it won't! *smirk*

London on a good day! Hope you packed light! Mwuahaha! 

(Source)


Now, before we get to some Robby goodness, I must share something very important with you all, and I do this for your own good, so look sharp & listen up!! Are you paying attention? Ok then....*scrambles up on to her soap box*


The very bombastic Cutie over at SSTB has kick-started the most fuckawesome campaign to make it known that every Twilighter wants to be able to enjoy a fuckwit-free New Moon experience! Not only do we want this, but we deserve it. We are the oil in a very big corporate franchise machine and working together is mutually benefical - they get their overflowing pots of gold. We get something we consider just as valuable.  We get our film.  A beautiful visual interpretation of the books we love. A chance to see everything we imagined and more on the big screen.  So to those of you who fully intend to turn up and...


sing, shout, laugh or talk over the film

scream at ear piercing volumn

hate on Twilight with hatey friends

bitch, moan & whine about every little detail

or generally take the piss....


.... my advice to you is simply this.  DON'T!

You've been warned fuckers!!!  For those who want to join the campaign, get more deets or grab a banner for your blog/site then please go visit Cutie here. 


Now.....on to Tokyo *grin* and the reason behind my request *wink* You see, it all started out perfectly innocent....

*waves back* Well Hey, Hello, Hi there Cutie! Don't you look nommy in that suit!

Now sugar you know I love it when you smile, but when you laugh......fuck! *melts*

Sweet jesus thankyouverymuch! Hand......hair......touching...*thud* It surely can't get better than that....right?


WRONG! So very wrong....*sigh*

Oh reeeeally? Right here, right now? Over the...? You dirty, dirty boy!!! But you don't need to ask me twice *waggles eyebrows*

Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna dooooo! Rob & The Weitz looking both looking very dapper!


So it's goodbye from them and see your ass later from me! ;)


I freakin love Tokyo....*sigh*

Sources

EW.com

Robsessed

Off my chest....on a personal note...

Ok now just for the record, I'm a very firm believer in Sunday being a day of rest.....and fuck do I love Sundays! It's the perfect day for sleeping in, lazy sex, eating too much, watching crap tv, doing the grocery shop in yoga pants and Uggs, taking an extra 5 minutes in the bath/shower, finishing that book, taking a walk, getting an early night, & having the breakfast you never have time to make/eat during the week.  Sounds great right? Who'd pass up on that?  I know I have....

We all miss out and most of the time I doubt we even realise we're doing it.  We never take time out of our busy week to stop and sit back, just for a second, and reflect on....well....everything.  If it's not work it's family and if it's not family then it's friends. Stress, pressure, deadlines, complaints, demands.  Things to remember, people to please, places to be. *sigh*

Do you ever wonder what would happen if you just slowed the fuck down? If you turned off the blackberry for an hour? If you had that damn doughnut, wore those goofy slippers, let the kids get their clothes dirty, took that lunch break and left the housework until tomorrow? 

Last week, I found out that Alzheimer's disease is the most common cause of dementia, affecting around 417,000 people in the UK, for which there is currently no cure.  My Gran is warm, selfless, kind & good, with an overwhelming capacity to love & to give. I also found out that she is one of those 417,000 people. She is the most beautiful person I have and next year she might not even know who I am.

Some of the very best things in life are free. Don't take them for granted.  Say I love you, even if your scared shitless, even if they might not fucking remember it tomorrow.

"Flower, God Bless you and keep you safe" - Taken from a letter to me.  The handwriting is my Grans.


<3

What do you buy the vamp who has everything?

Hi, hey, hello to my new followers! It's lovely to have you here! Kick back, relax and enjoy!  ;)

Ok so there I was, behaving myself and minding my own business, for a change! Anyway, with October 31st looming upon us I figured I'd make something hallowthemed for le blog so I took Edward's advice and googled it (I do however, for the record, draw the line at eating Tofu Eddie, okay?) So I typed in "Halloween"  and a few pages in to my search, nestled between all the usual hallowcrap, Google presented me with a single picture of awesomeness! The light bulb over my head practically exploded and the excitement of my very accidental but totally amazing find made me a little giddy!

For those of you who follow me on Twitter, you may recall that earlier this evening, before I got down & dirty with Google, I tweeted the following.....

It seems coincidence was to come a'knockin at my door....!

We know Robward has the hair, the girl, the family, the car, the cash, the marble god-like bod, eternal life, and a sparkly peen. So what exactly do you give him?

I'm thinking these! I mean, sure, they look mighty familar right?  But look again....closer this time......

Now bend me over and spank me in to Sunday if they are not the most badass couldnthavecustommadethembettermyself pair of Dunks you did ever see!?   

And FYI to the dudes at Nike, you guys owe me a whole truckload of fucking panties.....

Meme Madness!

I was tagged in on all the fun but took my sweet time getting round to it, what with work being an ass kicker! So for those who don't yet know....

meme

in blogspeak, an idea that is spread from blog to blog

(as defined on urban dictionary)

....thanks to Cutie for that little nugget of knowledge!

Okay, my meme answers....here goes....!

1) What is the craziest/most stupid thing you've ever done (that you would be willing to share!)?

Oh god, so many to chose from which is slightly fucking worrying! There was the time my asshole brother got me drunk and dared me to jump on to the roof of an empty outbuilding.  My fat ass went right through that badboy!!! The crazy part is though, you think that would have taught me a lesson right? Wrong! I still go drinking with my brother now and then. He let's me get friendly with Jose purely to get some entertain from my booze fueled stupidity!! The last time I drank with that bastard I ended up slipping and crashing down 2 flights of stairs.  I thought it was hysterical until I realised the motion had upset all the alcohol sloshing around in my tummy. I spent the rest of the night with my head in the fucking toilet throwing up and woke up with an imprint of the seat on my face, the hangover from hell and the ugliest goddamn bruises on all my soft fleshy parts (thighs, underarms etc).  The largest bruise was right under my left ass cheek, I couldn't sit on the toilet properly for nearly a fortnight. 

2) Fuck, Marry, Kill. With the Twilight cast.

Fuck - Such a tough question because they are all so bangable in their own right, including some of the laydees! But I choose Emmett.....I wanna demolish me a few houses with monkey man! *smirk*

Marry - Easy! My beloved, precious Edward! A whole lotta love would be made in the marital bed and cute little baby Eddies would be snapping at our heels *sigh*

Kill - Lauren fucking Mallory! Hostile, jealous, sneering bitch! She epitomises the kind of girls I had to endure throughout high school. 

3) What is your favorite band/type of music?

I love it all!! But currently All American Rejects, Kings of Leon, and The Gaslight Anthem, Bon Iver and Band of Skulls to name a few

4) What is your favorite movie besides Twilight?

I can't choose one so top 5....

Murial's Wedding

Sleepless in Seattle

Strictly Ballroom

When Harry Met Sally

Forrest Gump

5) Do your RL family/friends know you’re addicted to Twilight? And blogger?

Friends, family and even my poor long suffering colleagues know I'm "one of those Twilight people" but only 2 RL'ers know about the blog....and I kinda like it that way! Most peeps just wouldn't understand it at all....*shrug*

6) How many hours a week do you spend doing Twi related things? You know, blogging, looking at pictures of the cast, reading fan fiction, etc.

In 3 small words: A fucking lot!!!!

7) Any random fact you might want to share. Big or small, it doesn't matter

I had my tonsils out when I was 21

I crack my knuckles

Forrest Gump is one of my fave films but I can't actually watch it because I cry like a baby through the whole damn thing! People can be such cruel bastards...*sniffle*....poor Forrest! Breaks my freaking heart every time!

I have 8 tattoos

I have no allergies

I was stung by a jellyfish last summer in Turkey but managed to avoid the sneaky fuckers in Egypt this year.

Too much sleep gives me a headache

I'm 5'3

I can't fucking dance...at all.

I love tequila but it dosn't love me

I always carry a spare pair of panties in my handbag (I do not have bladder problems!)

I love watching cooking shows, esp Ina & Geoffrey, but I can't actually cook...*shrug*

My typing speed is 80-85 words per minute
I wear Spongebob Squarepants Pyjamas..

As a thank you for reading my random witterings, I herby present you with a little RobwardPorn!

Who knew science could be so damn smexy!! I'd be more than willing to re-sit biology if it was his anatomy we were studying......top marks all round, class! *wink*

Source

Sentiments & Sunday Catch Up!

Happy Sunday folks!

RL has been kicking my ass hard this week and Emancipation Proclaimation has been owning it!

So time to announce the winner of my giveaway! Thank you to the 7 lovely ladies entered, but alas only 1 could win, which saddens me as all your captions were more than shirt-worthy!

I popped all the names in to my Beanie of Wonder.....

.....and plucked one from the wooliness with my peepers closed.....

Congratulations to the one and only Cutie over at Super Secret Twilight Blog! To see her kinky caption along with the other 6 fantastical entries go here - well worth a minute of your time and guaranteed to give you the giggles!!

Cutie if you email me we can get down to business ;)

Now, I'm not ashamed to confess that I can never get enough RobPorn *smirk* and love nothing more than getting my daily picfix on, but I am slightly embarrassed to admit that every now and then I'll see a picture that makes me feel a bit strange. By strange I'm not talkin over-excited ovaries, trembling thighs and a quivering faloolah,  but a lump in my throat mingled with a shudder of pleasure, dumbstruck awe, a bit of sadness and the overwhelming urge to say out loud the little pet name that I secretly decided suited him about 2 weeks ago! *blush*

So for today (and only today) I'm saying fuck it! I'm giving in to that urge! I'm not all cussing, hormones & exploding panties! Its true! *sigh* I'm all squishy at heart, so I'm going to show you some of la mia bella ragazzo.....

*sigh* Like I said....la mia bella ragazzo....

Sources -
Itsjustme
Thinking of Rob
Robert Pattinson Source