20 February 2010

Beware! This post contains shameless self-pimping!!


For those of you who don't know already, I have entered my first fic contest! I was a little daunted at the prospect, however the chosen contest topic of "FML" really was too much for me to resist and so I penned my one shot entry - "High risk heavy petting: The dangers of dry humping!"  The lovely Yogagal, Zigster, Chicklette and SorceressCirce are MC'ing the contest over at FanFiction.net and you can find out all the info here .

If you would like to read my entry, you can find it on my FanFiction.net profile here.  It can also be found in the contest community here along with all the other entries. To skip all the fandango and go straight to the story then just click here

Due to a whopping 70 entries, the voting will be dones as follows.....

  • 18th February to 24th February - First Round of Open Voting featuring 35 stories 

  • 25th February to 3rd March - Second Round of Open Voting featuring 35 stories 

  • 4th March to 10 March - Final Round of Open Voting featuring twenty stories (the top ten from each of the preliminary rounds)
My story will feature in the second round of open voting, the dates for which are 25th February - 3rd March 

I have some tough judges to impress in the JSR (Judge's Selection Round) and would be super happy just to make it through to the final round of open voting, so I will be keeping my fingers & toes tightly crossed! And maybe my legs for extra luck! ;)

If you'd like to vote for me then you can do it by visiting the contest's profile page over at FanFiction.net, which is here between 25th February - 3rd March.  To place your vote just use the poll at the very top of the page.  Easy peasy right? :)

And that, my pretties, is the end of my indulgent self pimping, my frequent "here" links and my shameless abuse of the bold function!

Oh, and for any peoples reading this who are confused, or perhaps not so in the know, FML means Fuck my life....

So yo yo yiggtty fucking yo!

16 February 2010

Thinking of a themed wedding? Well think again!!!

Time for some light hearted, humorous fuckery! If you don't like either then please look away NOW!

So as per usual, I was spending my time productively on Twitter, and the lovely Emma was puffy hearting over some wedding gownage. A little chat with Megs, some stupendous googling and mad photoshop skillz later, the idea for this post was borned! And so I asked myself....if I could marry Rob, what kind of wedding would I choose?

Now as any wedded folks would know, vows are super important, so I worked on those first and decided to go all fusion on your asses and mix modern with traditional.....

Bride (thats's KStew me)
I Bex, take thee Rob, to be my lawfully hawtsex husband. To have and to grope, for better or for screwed, for richer or for sex hair, in sparkle peen and in health, to love and to jaw lick....

Groom (Robbykins)
I Rob, take thee Bex, to be my lawfully fine assed wife. To have and to spank, for better or for totally fucked, for richer or for free Ray Bans, in weight gain and in health, to love and to impregnate....

So yes, vows are the whole point of a wedding, but we alll know that everyone's eyes are on his prize the outfits. Themes seem pretty popular........

How about a mash up of Robin Hood & Harry Potter?


Uhh darling, did you invite Hedwig?

No but I bet you can't catch my Golden Snitch....I'm going to give it to the poor!

No? Ok...how a vampish goth affair?


Uh....is this some kind of sick joke?
No! My lawyer's even agreed to change our names to Edward & Bella.....

How about a tribute to my beloved Kiltward?


"I fucking love tartan Bex!"

Perhaps some meringue for the Bride?


Da da!!!!!!! Isn't it speshal & precious?

But every Bride & Groom needs a Best Man & a Maid of Honour


My what a big gun you have.....now tie me up, fucker!!

N.B - That's Meg "donning" the kinky Mafia "Carlisle's Bitch" ensemble.

And now we come to the end and I've made my descision. Your theme should be something you know well, something you love, something you would never tire of, something you feel.....a connection too *sniff* So based on that criteria, I've chosen my theme, and I've chosen well.......


"Wow your shorts are like especially gold today. 
My mom uses color safe bleach..."

I love Juno, I love Rob, and if I could answer my phone at work with "Yo yo yoiggady yo" without getting my ass busted then I totally fucking would!!

Very small disclaimer  - This post is in no way intended to be a belittling of the scared institution that is marriage, so wedded peeps - please be not taking offence. 

11 February 2010

To the Batcave bitches!!!

At 3.00 today I hauled ass in to a meeting.  Whilst in said meeting, unbeknown to me, pure awesomeness was being lovingly hand crafted for me by a work colleague who shall remain nameless due to her super creative but highly innappropriate use of office supplies. *snigger* The above mentioned awesomeness was awaiting me when I got back to my desk, having been sneakily placed there in stealth ninja manouvres.


For all those times when work kicks your ass and you feel a breakdown brewing, there are days & colleagues like this - something little makes it all fucking worthwhile!!

3 February 2010

Meg goes topperless!

I'm back bitches!!!! No your eyes do not decieve you, it's really me! Super sowwies for the lack of bloggage, things have been busy and messy and just generally a bit crazy but I hope I can be forgiven...pleasers?

So today's agenda *taps clipboard* Let us begin with the "Box of Joy".

Today was......well quite frankly shit ,to say the least! However upon arriving home on this cold, dark, rainy, typically British eve, I discovered a box waiting for me from my Meg. Now the aptly dubbed Box of Joy was an expected but much anticipated arrival.


It all began back in December when she blogged about her Christmas tree and it's spanky decorations here

Scrolling down, something beautimous & sparkly caught my eye (no, it wasn't Edward!) It was one of Meg's magnificant home made crafty creations, which we swiftly dubbed the "Rob Topper"...


So Christmas was over and the tree got burned, but what was the fate of the Rob Topper? What became of it? ....



Thats right sweeties, it was mailed, with love, to meeeeee!!! I admired it from afar and so it embarked on an atlantic journey, travelling for thousand's of miles.  But it did not wander lonely as a cloud, oh no! It arrived with companions!!


Noms & New Moon merch!!!

For those of you who spotted the Toblerone above; it was sent as token of our mutual love for the amazing  "Emancipation Proclaimation" (a fiction by kharizzmatik) Those who have read or are reading it will understand the significance of the very triangular choc *grin*

And the best for last......serious! Custom shirts!!!


Home made shirt just for Bexy #1.  Yes, I love spanks and yes Meg & I have a Batcave........ 


....for dastardly plotting and general fuckery ;)
Annnnnnnnd on to Home made shirt just for Bexy #2 which has a smexin front.....


....and a very spesh word on the back.....(which was made up and tweeted in a moment of madness by myself!)


A jizzity word and a jizzity pic on a jizzity shirt! It doesn't get any jizzier than that!!!!

So thank you Meggles.  For my Box of Joy, and for being my friend, my cupmegcake.  You are the color safe bleach to my especially gold shorts and I love your Southern ass!! Lit'rally.....<3
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