14 May 2010

I most fucking definately saw sparks...

Firstly, I'm sorry for sucking bloggy ass and not updating on a regular basis but I am still very much alive, kicking & currently stuffing my face with lunch.

So as I sit here and ponder over my chicken sandwich (with extra mayo fyi), I know that some of you will not be surprised by the topic of today's post.


Can you guess? Go on, try!  How about a hint?

Loch Ness(ie) Monster? No...

Tartan fetish perhaps? No...

A heated debated about Haggis? Wrong again...

A tribute to Braveheart? *snort* Fuck no!!!

It is a tribute though.....and I'm wondering how many of you fanfic lovers have me sussed!

I'm talking about something better than all of the whiskey in Scotland.  Someone whose bagpipes I am dying to get hold of, someone whose kilt I would peek up like a naughty school girl.  Someone whose sporran I would lovingly pet.

I'm talking about Kiltward. *sigh*  but I have been quiet for long enough! I became overwhelmed with the rather urgent need to profess my unwavering love for him using blogger as my vessil of declaration!  He was created and is owned by ElusiveKoolaid, fic writer extroidinaire and all round amazing lady. 

For those not in the know, I shall enlighten! Elusive is a gem, the absolute diamond of all diamonds. She is execeptional in many, many ways, one of which is her talent for the written word.  She writes, and she does it beautifully.  She also deserves a lifetime supply of Iron Bru for putting up with my whiney needy ass tweeting her incessently about my love for the tattooed, fuck-haired god she created and so generously shared with us.  In summary, I love the very bones of her. 

Now if you have read her (very first ever) fic "The Rain Season" then all this should be making sense to you. If you haven't then you should be reading it instead of this! Let me help with a little nudge in the right direction....

Don't come back until your finished!!

Now I will share with the rest of you the 2 exact, precise moments I fell head over heels....

Heartstopping moment #1

"Hey…" she continued to whimper the word no over and over again. I don't know why, but seeing her so distressed touched something in me. I shook her again but she still didn't open her eyes. I leaned down really close to her ear, smelling her sweet scent, and said quietly, "Wake up, sweetheart."

Suddenly she opened her eyes and looked directly into mine.

"Are you awake?" I watched her brows furrow and listened to her breathing start to calm, "I heard you across the hall. Are you alright?"

Alright? Alright? No I'm not freaking alright! You just strolled on in here and deaded me with your bed hair, velvet voice and unfaultering compassion! I am now an incoherant, hearting, bumbling, lusting, puppy dog eyed mess! You rendered me speechless (not an easy task & probably for the best!) and I no longer have eyes for another. I have a big squishy heart which had turned from pink to tartan and there is no going back. 
Oh Kilty, Kilty, Kilty what have you done.

Heartstopping moment #2

"The sun had sliced in from the window in my room and all I wanted to do was fucking die or kill who ever the fuck decided to make single malt scotch in the first place. Even my hair fucking hurt. After laying in bed waiting for the room to stop spinning, I had decided to make a grand fucking bloodshot entrance and eventually did so, cigarette bobbing out of my mouth, bare chested and bare footed into the kitchen."

Elusive once asked me what my favourite thing about Kiltward was. I refrained from blurting out "everything!" and instead I answered sincerely.  I told her that, in my eyes, he was a walking contradiction, and that I loved him madly for it.

So imagine my utter dispair when on 20 February 2010 Elusive posted the Epilogue to The Rain Season. It was over, finished, done, fin.  I packed my bags and moved in to the Heartbreak Hotel, my heart heavy and my check out date unknown.  I read, re-read and triple re-read, yet it never felt the same. *dabs at tears*  

Today I have recommended, gushed, & bared my fragile (yes fragile!) little soul. And now I'm going to beg & plead. I will drop to my knees and grovel at his feet. Come back Kilty... come back. Love me with those wicked green flames, let me smoosh you with all my tiny might!

Of all the _wards in all the fics in all the world, you are the only one I'd run away to Gretna Green with and I miss the fuck out of you.


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