Interview With The Mistress

Hey ya'll! It's me, Smutty!! The ever-lovely Bex has invited me to pop in on her blog from time to time and spread the smutty goodness. And, while I'm all about the pop-in, I thought the first order of business should include an interview. Not just for my own indulgent nosey self gratification but also to give ya'll a peek at all of Bex's wonderment. And if we get really lucky, maybe she'll show us a lil more of that wonderment at a later date. *wiggles eyebrows*

So, without further ado, lets get it on!

Smutty: So Bex, why do you feel infinite today?

Bex: Because life is too short to hold back… :)

Smutty: I knew I lovered you for a reason ;)

Bex: Wait a minute....you mean it wasn't for my fuckhawt body and winning personality? *looks hurt*

Smutty: *sigh* ok, you got me there, it was your bubbly personality coupled with the most adorable toes and Mistress-hawt red toenail polish.....and I don't even have a foot fetish so that should speak volumes! But this isn't about me, so, back to you.

Smutty: What is your all time favourite fanfic?

Bex: Ooooh! It's a joint winner…

Buried Under The Begonias by Durty Nelly - I'm a total sucker for Masen…*shudder* and....Clipped Wings & Inked Armor by HunterHunting - I absolutely love Tattward to death! I would bake & feed him a million cupcakes in exchange for a new tattoo and some kinky piercings……amongst other things *wink*

Smutty: Both excellent choices! This leads me to an unscripted question.....if you could have any piercing regardless of pain or shyness during administration of said-piercing, what would you get done? And another follow up question, clearly you are inked, do you have any ideas for your next masterpiece?

Bex: Thanks - it was tough to choose! If I could get anything pierced it would be my nipple and my kitty ;) And I have actually been giving serious consideration to one of those! I am indeed inked, (7 in total) and planning to add more so I'm toying with a few ideas at the moment, namely a phoenix on my left foot or maybe some Latin…

Smutty: You know eventually you will need to add pictures of all this fucktastic ink, right?

Bex: Only if your takin them ;) *cough*Nekked shoot*cough*

Smutty: When you wake up in the morning, what is the first thought that comes to mind?

Bex: "I don't want to get up!!!!" I'm not a morning person at all! Especially early mornings!

Smutty: Very few people like mornings and those who do I have grave concerns over their mental health..

Bex: So, I'm not mental right? Well shit that's a relief!

Smutty: No more mental than the rest of us Love *wink*

Smutty: You call yourself the Mistress, this would lead one to believe you are Dominant in nature, ever considered being submissive?

Bex: I do have the odd Dom moment but in truth I'm actually so submissive it's laughable! *shameface*

Smutty: Hehehe, your secret is safe with me...
Bex: *whispers* But Smuts....you just told like everyone dude! Pass me the Ray Bans, I can't been seen like this!

Smutty: Please, that shade of red does amazing things for your complexion!

Smutty: What color is your favourite hoodie?

Bex: Black & Pink *grin*

Smutty: Hoodies make the world a better place *smiles warmly at Bex*

Bex: *goofy grin* Yes they do! Everyone should own at least one...except me...I own about 30...and If I went on one of those makeover shows the fuckers would have to cut me out of it with a chainsaw - I refuse to give it up! Unless of course Rob wants to peel it off.....*eyes glaze over*

Smutty: Oh Rob....*eyes glass over while images of Rob peeling hoodies off Bex flash through my mind*

Smutty: Do you bite your ice cream or just lick it?

Bex: I lick…..thoroughly *smirk*

Smutty: *note to self, Bex is not a nibbler* Very interesting Bex, no teeth? Ever?

Bex: Well...between you an me...it has been known...y'know? So yeah....

Smutty: *jaw hits floor* Alrighty then, lets move on to a less suggestive question...

Smutty: What is your best childhood memory?

Bex: Weekends with my grandparents - they are my 2 most favourite people in the whole world. But winning the Easter Bonnet competition when I was 5 years old was pretty cool too! I actually won 3 years running cos my mum made the most awesome hats! She rocks! The photos are fucking embarrassing though!

Smutty: I think you should consider sharing these photos. OH! Which brings me to my next unplanned question, your readers want to know, what the fuck is up with Banana-gate?!
Bex: Because I am willing to humiliate myself for everyone's entertainment I have shared said photographic evidence.....I hope you all enjoy a very good laugh at my expense. Heckle and you will regret it!

Bex: And banana-gate involved my Friend Troodee, a stranger (maybe more than 1) and a peeled banana! That’s all I can say.....for now...!

Smutty: Yeah, I'm gonna need more from you on that one, maybe not here or now, but eventually, you are going to need to purge that story for the rest of us to relish, just sayin...

Smutty: Have you ever crawled through a window?

Bex: Yes I have! *grin* That was when I could fit through one because my ass was smaller and I had no boobs!

Smutty: A girl hasn’t lived until she has crawled through a window *sighs and looks out window reminiscing her youth* Who's window was it? *wink*

Bex: The son of a policeman no less! *blush* but never mind my window sneaking, I wanna know who's window were you creepy-creeping through!

Smutty: Look Bex, I'm the one asking the questions today, mmkay? *wink*

Smutty: Favorite smells?

Bex: Freesias, the smell in the tattoo shop, Suntan lotion, my brother's cooking, coconut, and a just-showered guy. Yum!

Smutty: Mmmmmm, tattoo shop, Tattward, ok, where were we?

Bex: Tattooed Tattward....tattooing me...touching my.......sorry what?

Smutty: Yeah, time to move on to the next question before we have to cut this lil interview short and bust out the Rabbit!

Bex: *gulp*

Smutty: Favourite book out of the Twilight series?

Bex: New Moon comes pretty damn close but It's always been Twilight for me!

Smutty: Yes, Twilight was the beginning of all of it. If Midnight Sun is ever released, would Twilight still be your favourite?

Bex: Exactly, that’s why I love it - the beginning of it all for B & E and the beginning of it all for me! *sentimental* Y'know I think it would...I truly love that book...*sniffle*

Smutty: What is your biggest pet peeve?

Bex: Umm…lack of manners! They cost nothing and a little please/thank you goes a loooong way!

Smutty: I have to agree with you there. Nothing makes me want to tell someone to fuck their mother more than a lack of manners. And that says a lot coming from a crass offensive potty mouthed she-devil. *wink*

Bex: *snort* If you say please and thank you then that more than entitles you to say fuck, shit, bastard etc and generally throw profanities and expletives about, so it serves the asstards right! An I can say that cos I haz manners!

Smutty: Have you ever been in a physical altercation?

Bex: Would you believe only once! I was 11 and it was with a girl called Amanda who lived 5 doors down. She rode her bike in to my shin (the bitch!) so I pulled her hair and slapped her across the face!

Smutty: *claps hands then high-fives Bex* Good for you!!

Bex: It reminds me of that song…. "I didn't slap you I just high-fived your face" which is all I did to her….technically! *shrug*

Smutty: Sweet or savoury?

Bex: Sweet wins out every time for me! I lust over dessert menus! *blush* I'm amazed I have no fillings and all my own teeth actually!

Smutty: You lust over them, so it wouldn't be too far fetched to say a Bex fantasy would include sweets?

Bex: *squirms in her chair* Uh...I'd say that’s a pretty fair & accurate assumption yeah...*turns a funny shade of red*

Smutty: Hmmm, we may need to come back to this in a later post...

Smutty: If you could have one super power, what would it be?

Bex: I've thought long and hard on this, and decided the ability to make hot guys appear in my bed whenever I like would be….useful ;)

Smutty: Useful? Interesting choice of words *wiggles eyebrows*

Bex: Well I mean, I might need the bed springs oiled....or the headboard tested...all perfectly innocent!! We're not all Durty Gurty’s y'know! *whistles*

Smutty: Actually Bex, yes, we are all Durty Gurty's, some of us just aren’t out of the closet yet. *eyes Bex suspiciously*

Smutty: What is your favourite kind of chocolate?

Bex: The kind that can be melted on to Rpattz and then licked off him….slowly…..uhh…..

Smutty: *fans self* Can we get some chocolate in here? NOW?!

Bex: I don’t think we need to wait for the chocolate....*smirk*

Smutty: Aaahh, I thinky our sweet lil Bex in coming out of the smutty closet *rubs hands together*

Smutty: If I gave you an elephant, where would you hide it?

Bex: Under my bed!

Smutty: That must be one hell of a bed there Bex! Room enough for "company"?

Bex: Well depends who’s joining......*wiggles eyebrows*

Smutty: *makes note to apply for passport this week*

Smutty: Do you think the bad acting in Twilight was due to the lack of talent of the actors themselves or the lack of direction from Catherine Hardwicke? (yeah, I asked the question, suck it)

Bex: Ooo I may be hunted down and shot if I don't answer this correctly right? Ok well, fuck it, here goes….

I think a little from both camps! I think Catherine gave the actors a lot of freedom with their roles which is great but perhaps should have been directional to some extent in order to deliver the characters we were expecting i.e. the ones from the book that had already been established so well. But whichever way she did that it she would have inevitably never pleased everyone because we all have our own ideas of how they should be. We love them and know them inside out so we must be a hard audience to please! (Thinking back here to the uproar when they announced RPattz would play Edward). I'm stoked that the cast have been given the chance to grow in to their roles by filming New Moon & Eclipse. The small budget was complained about a lot but I feel a good director should be able to work with that and make the best of what they have. Don't get me wrong, I totally love the film but it's not without those moments where you just want to cringe at the acting! And from what I have seen of the trailers I think Summit made good in choosing Chris Weitz - I really think it's going to be beautiful ……!

Smutty: Couldn't agree more

Bex: I waffled...I’m sorry...please wake up!!
Smutty: Never make apologies for your responses when someone asks your opinion. Mmmkay?

Smutty: If you could re-experience one thing in your life, what would it be?

Bex: If you mean re-experience as in to do over differently then I would have kissed him when I had the chance. Re-experience as in do it again because it was so good the first time - start my blog and meet all you lovely laydees all over again!!

Smutty: Now you have opened yourself up to further questions there Ms. Bex! Who was this young man? How long ago was this? Where is said-man now?

Bex: Jesus Smuts, you said interview not interrogation, don’t get your panties in a bunch! One at a time! He was.... let’s call him H....and it was 2001......and said-man is still around, still in touch regularly and still a fine piece of ass.....! *bites lip*

Smutty: Dollface, my panties stay in a bunch, gives me the much needed friction throughout the day *wink*

Bex: TMI Smutters, TMI….*shakes head*

Smutty: Aww, nothing better than a lil Twilight-obsessed bonding *runs over to Bex and tackles her with a Emmett-sized bear hug*

Bex: *squeek* I lovers you but group hug...? Anyone....? Someone...? Help...? *gasps for air* I think I’m turning purple down here!

Smutty: I am all about some group hug!! *runs to Bex and squeezes her in a kung foo grip hug*