16 February 2010

Thinking of a themed wedding? Well think again!!!

Time for some light hearted, humorous fuckery! If you don't like either then please look away NOW!

So as per usual, I was spending my time productively on Twitter, and the lovely Emma was puffy hearting over some wedding gownage. A little chat with Megs, some stupendous googling and mad photoshop skillz later, the idea for this post was borned! And so I asked myself....if I could marry Rob, what kind of wedding would I choose?

Now as any wedded folks would know, vows are super important, so I worked on those first and decided to go all fusion on your asses and mix modern with traditional.....

Bride (thats's KStew me)
I Bex, take thee Rob, to be my lawfully hawtsex husband. To have and to grope, for better or for screwed, for richer or for sex hair, in sparkle peen and in health, to love and to jaw lick....

Groom (Robbykins)
I Rob, take thee Bex, to be my lawfully fine assed wife. To have and to spank, for better or for totally fucked, for richer or for free Ray Bans, in weight gain and in health, to love and to impregnate....

So yes, vows are the whole point of a wedding, but we alll know that everyone's eyes are on his prize the outfits. Themes seem pretty popular........

How about a mash up of Robin Hood & Harry Potter?


Uhh darling, did you invite Hedwig?

No but I bet you can't catch my Golden Snitch....I'm going to give it to the poor!

No? Ok...how a vampish goth affair?


Uh....is this some kind of sick joke?
No! My lawyer's even agreed to change our names to Edward & Bella.....

How about a tribute to my beloved Kiltward?


"I fucking love tartan Bex!"

Perhaps some meringue for the Bride?


Da da!!!!!!! Isn't it speshal & precious?

But every Bride & Groom needs a Best Man & a Maid of Honour


My what a big gun you have.....now tie me up, fucker!!

N.B - That's Meg "donning" the kinky Mafia "Carlisle's Bitch" ensemble.

And now we come to the end and I've made my descision. Your theme should be something you know well, something you love, something you would never tire of, something you feel.....a connection too *sniff* So based on that criteria, I've chosen my theme, and I've chosen well.......


"Wow your shorts are like especially gold today. 
My mom uses color safe bleach..."

I love Juno, I love Rob, and if I could answer my phone at work with "Yo yo yoiggady yo" without getting my ass busted then I totally fucking would!!

Very small disclaimer  - This post is in no way intended to be a belittling of the scared institution that is marriage, so wedded peeps - please be not taking offence. 


Meg said...

I am *died*. You can all just call me Carlisle's Bitch from here on out. I'm cool with it.

Bex, you have outdone yourself. Seriously. That last picture...omg. Love it.

Jen said...

LMAO!!! awww, Kilty is fucking impressed!!! xo

Anonymous said...

HAHAHA the vows are amazing!!
You should definitely do a honeymoon follow up post ;)

Shiny Volvo Owner said...

Okay... So I was puffy hearting over wedding dresses. But it gave you a blog idea...
AND I found your Bella dress. So... I'd kindly like to say... Screw you =D

Ha! Love you really. And glad I can inspire people to write stuff that makes me giggle like a nutter

Sue said...

Oh God! That was f*ckawesome! If I ever re-new my vows, I shall be stealing them, and the hubs can role play as Rob for the day. lmao


Stan said...

PMSL Bex! Fab post, and love the Juno look for the wedding!


Rob's Swiss Miss said...

Holy hell...I'm giggling so hard I can't form complete sentences ;) The vows...the pics...gangsta Meg...Juno Bex. You kill me!

cutie said...

Bloody brilliant!!!!
Really, I'm just all around speechless due to this wonderment!

Oh Juno, how I love thee. =) Oh Bex, how I love thee more. *hugs*

Anonymous said...

Those are my vows!!!!


I love this.

Some of those pics are scary.

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